Dad in Training: Stay-at-Home Winter Olympics

With the mountains of Sochi filled with abandoned 1/2 pipes, ski jumps whooshing now only as the crosswinds blow, and luge runs empty of athletes hurling themselves down icy tracks in toddler-tested methods (head first, feet first, really expensive sled first), you might think that the winter games are over.

But you would be wrong. The torch has been passed. There is an elite group of competitors packed away in an athlete's village called New York City. And we're all staring at a weather forecast that promises to dump another 8 or 10,000 inches of snow to be plowed and shoveled oh-so conveniently right in front of the place where you are supposed to cross the street. Also we can count on crusty mounds of blackened plow-snow to be blocking pedestrian access to our bus and subway stops. Stops that take us to family-friendly venues that will save our apartments from cabin-fever induced disaster management.

Why does my 19-month-old son Peter delight in taking every single book off the shelf and hurling it across the room with both the skill and deadly accuracy of a Norwegian Biathlete?

We are the stay-at-home parents of the 2014 Polar Vortex Games! And while I'm not a podium contender yet, I do have some top-tips to make sure you are wearing gold at the end of these winter games (which I predict to be sometime around Father's Day).

1. Get a membership. While the upfront investment of a few hundred dollars is significant, do a little math and you'll realize that being

   

   Not everyone minds the snow in NYC.

   
   

   able to drop into the Children's Museum of Manhattan or the Bronx Zoo at a moment's notice throughout the next year without worrying if you've got enough time to make the daily entry fee "worth it,"  is a gold-medal-winning move. Plus, romping around children's museums? Educational and fun! And being able to recite, "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?" while staring at two actual brown bears wrestling? Kind of Double awesome.
   
2. Get a backpack. No, not that kind. I'm talking the kind that you will carry your toddler to the zoo, the museum, the store, through subway turnstiles without a second thought at record pace. It turns every trip into a ride and your kid will love it. Plenty of parents embrace front-of-the-body packs like the Ergo or Baby Bjorn, but at some point they get shoved in the back of a closet and the omnipresent umbrella stroller comes out. And for an island that currently boasts snowy ridges blocking crosswalks, the stroller is just the wrong tool for the job. Strollers are for STROLLING. And in New York, we don't usually stroll. We walk (more quickly than rickety small plastic wheels can handle), we climb (up and down subway stairs), we run (for the bus), we do ("Ninja-quick" shopping trips at bodegas that pack more items in the same footprint that a suburban grocery store fits their Redbox and Coinstar vending machines.) My dad says he used to get looks carrying me around in a backpack...and that was in the 1970s. 40 years later, I get looks of surprise, followed by realization, a smile, then the comment. "Looks like he's got the best seat in the house." Yes, yes he does.
   
   
3. Get a snowsuit. In the world of Olympic and athletic competition, speed is of the essence. And let's face it; with the jackets, the mittens, the hats, the shoes (all of which routinely get torn off the second you get them on), it probably takes you 1/2 the day just to get crew ready to leave the house. But a good lined snowsuit with a long zipper will not only cut down on your prep time (pants optional!), but keep him warm as can be.  Also snowsuits make your super adorable kid even more so: